Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
