I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
