We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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