I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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