Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Your cock deserves a montage
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My feet surprised me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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