shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
