I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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