my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
