Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
