Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
