You can't special order awesome
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
