you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize