If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
