I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
