this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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