ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
