Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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