Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize