he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize