and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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