I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
