it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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