im drinking this country out of the recession.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I need moral support for this bender
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
