She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
