oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
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