Betty ford says i'm here all night
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
