no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
