When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
40s are totally the cure
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
