New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
