my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
