if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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