You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
