This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
