you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
