i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
