I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
