Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
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I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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