hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
