i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
