Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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