you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
