wakey wakey hands off snakey
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
