I smell stomach acid.
i just google imaged poop.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
