When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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