She just used a chaser for red wine.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
