Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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