Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
