you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
