sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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