ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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