Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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