look no pants
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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