There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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