My brain says no but my pants say off.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
