it wasn't lemon gatorade
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you didnt know i had herpes?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
