gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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