Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
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There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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