Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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