Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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