There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
