In America we eat man semen.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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