When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
