I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sponge bath it is.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
